Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

Late-night's top hosts used their broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant pay-for-access system for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Analysis

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... spoils each thing he touches."

The focus was the new program which enables international citizens to buy U.S. residence for the price of one million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for $5 million. The program's page promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief thought for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the scheme is also designed to "extract cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, involving hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The best screening the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants absolutely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit affluent overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "For a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"It might be time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging approval numbers during economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a effort to address cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative media arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.